Calling All Cowards By Becky Akers
(2010-08-19 at 04:36:50 )

Calling All Cowards By Becky Akers

Like me, you have probably wondered where the Transportation Security
Administration (TSA) rustles up the gutless baboons it sics on passengers
at its security theaters. Or perhaps you have speculated about just how
low the IQ and morals must sink for a wannabe baboon to grunt, "Hmmm,
think I will git me a job where I can stand around on the taxpayers dime,
except for when I am busy feeling them up and rummaging their bags for
money and drugs to confiscate, heh-heh."

Here is our answer: pizza boxes. The TSA is advertising for screeners on
the boxes in which Washington DC pizzerias deliver their product. Though
some might praise the agency for its sense of propriety - how fitting
that it recruits for its cheesy make-work with a cheese-y pie!

I call it an offense against a beloved treat. Bread, garlicky sauce,
melted mozzarella: does dinner come any more delicious than this? The
fact that busybodies obsessed with our diet hyperventilate over this
innocent pleasure only adds to its allure.

Meanwhile, grab a bucket: you will need it to catch your lunch after
reading the ad. "A career where X-ray vision and federal benefits come
standard," the headline shamelessly proclaims. The TSAs strip-search
machines traumatize victims (including its own employees), are
carcinogenic, and do not detect explosives, yet Our Masters exploit the
misery for their idea of a witticism. The copy below this insult gushes,
"See yourself in a vital role for Homeland Security. Be part of a dynamic
security team protecting airports and skies as you proudly secure your
future."

And hey, you also get to abuse crippled kids, amputees, the elderly,
hard-working patriots carrying cash, folks feeling ill, and even those
passengers who have followed your silly rules to the letter. Yo, Pistole:
if the pizza boxes do not pay off, maybe you can spring for the back
cover of Sadists International.

Alas, the TSAs public servants compensate with cowardliness what they
lack in decency. No passenger is too innocuous or unlikely a threat to
spook these goofballs. When one of them forced Danielle Shanese Smith,
25, into their smutty scanner at Charlotte-Douglas [NC] International
Airport earlier this month, her involuntary strip-tease "indicated
anomalies." So her assailant "asked if she had anything in her pockets."
She responded, " I have a bomb. - asked to repeat her statement in front
of second officer, Smith did so - The officers requested a supervisor,
who asked her again if she had anything in her pockets. Smith replied:
a bomb, cuz I am a (expletive) terrorist "

How many times have we all longed to similarly sass the TSAs tormenters?

Of course, "officers found no explosive"; when do they ever? So they
punished the lady by insisting she "had "an intense stare" and "a non-
joking demeanor" that made theme [sic] believe her threat was credible.
" Way to go, maam! Put the invertebrates in their place with a look! "

Naturally, Ms. Smiths hostility to the TSAs wickedness has barred her
from American aviation: she "is not allowed to fly commercially or enter
an airport until her case is concluded." Would that we could say the same
for the goons who searched her without a warrant. The Feds may even
bankrupt and imprison her for her words: "The U.S. Attorneys Office said
Smith, if convicted, faces a maximum penalty of a $250,000 fine, five
years in prison or both." Seems that while chucking the First, Second,
and Fourth Amendments, the TSA threw out the Eighth as well. For good
measure, "airport police charged Smith with disorderly conduct."

Older men also inspire the TSAs bullies to retaliate. Richard Bellows, a
taxpayer from Carmel, IN, not only neglected to overlook the TSAs sloth
in Indianapolis International Airport, he dared complain about it.

"Bellows was in line at about 6 a.m. Tuesday when he asked a
Transportation Security Administration official why it was taking so long
- especially when he could see five TSA scanners who appeared to be
loafing." Uh-oh. Have not Our Masters made it crystal clear that uppity
serfs annoy them? Our job is to cringe and obey, not imply that our time
is valuable, our lives are our own, and the police-state had better stop
hassling us.

Ergo, the TSA re-educated Mr. Bellows: its miffed minions barred him from
his flight and almost convinced cops to arrest him. "

TSA behavioral detection officer Jamie Wilmot, at first said Bellows
brushed him when he walked by [after he had complained]. But Wilmot later
told behavioral detection supervisor Aaron Anderson and security manager
Lisa Scott it felt more like a push than a shove." So Anderson, Scott,
and "Airport Officer Michael Brite" - apparently summoned when Barney
Fife-sorry, Jamie Wilmot barely survived the 63-year-old Mr. Bellows
brush, push, or whatever - resorted to the TSAs numerous, notorious
surveillance cameras.

Our Rulers have squandered millions of our taxes on these gadgets. The
unwary assume this demonstrates the TSAs concern for our safety. Au
contraire. The cameras are there to catch us, not protect us. For
example, victims of the TSAs robbery plead with it to review its
videotape and confirm their tales of theft when the agency denies its
lackeys criminality. Imagine their shock when told that the cameras did
not film the felony because they are pointed at passengers - though no
passenger anywhere has yet swiped a screeners jewelry, drugs, or money,
let alone his dignity and peace of mind.

Fortunately, the usual scenario reversed itself in Mr. Bellows case.
"After watching replays of the brush-push from four different camera
angles and doing a warrant check on Bellows, the officials decided that
it [sic] was not threatening enough for an arrest." Ya think?

"But they told Bellows he could not fly out Tuesday and would have to
leave Wednesday. And when he came back he would be interviewed again,
with further action still possible." That will teach him to speak his
mind like a free man.

"We are committed to making each travelers screening experience as
pleasant and smooth as possible," the TSA prattles. "We are also
committed to treating each traveler with dignity and respect."

You better believe it!!

July 17, 2010

Becky Akers writes primarily about the American Revolution.

Copyright © 2010 by LewRockwell.com. Permission to reprint in whole or
in part is gladly granted, provided full credit is given.