Rokytnji Strikes Again!!
(2013-09-20 at 19:21:17 )

After a tiring day, a commuter settled down in his seat and closed his eyes.

As the train rolled out of the station, the young woman sitting next to him pulled out her cell phone and started talking in a loud voice:
"Hi sweetheart. It is Sue. I am on the train".
"Yes, I know it is the six thirty and not the four thirty, but I had a long meeting".
"No, honey, not with that Kevin from the accounting office. It was with the boss".
"No sweetheart, you are the only one in my life".
"Yes, I am sure, cross my heart!"

Fifteen minutes later, she was still talking loudly.

When the man sitting next to her had enough, he leaned over and said into the phone,
"Sue, hang up the phone and come back to bed."

Sue does not use her cell phone in public any longer.

________________________________________________________
If Only

Bob was sitting on the plane waiting to fly to Detroit,
when a guy took the seat beside him.
The guy was an emotional wreck, pale, hands shaking,
moaning in fear.

"What is the matter?" Bob asked.

"I have been transferred to Detroit - I have heard the people are crazy there.
They have got lots of shootings, gangs, race riots, drugs, poor public
schools, and the highest crime rate in the nation."

Bob replied, "I have lived in Detroit all my life. It is not as bad as the media says.
Find a nice home, go to work, mind your own business,
and enroll your kids in a nice private school.
It is as safe a place as anywhere in the world."

The guy relaxed and stopped shaking and said, "Oh, thank you.
I have been worried to death.
But if you live there and say it is OK, I will take your word for it.
What do you do for a living?"

"I am a tail gunner on a Budweiser truck."

__________________________________________________________


No matter how hard you try, you can not baptise cats.

You can not trust dogs to watch your food.

Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.

Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.

Time may be a great healer, but it is a lousy beautician.

Always dance naked, but not while frying bacon.

Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.

Happy Trails, Roky