Op-Ed: The Exit Of 12,000 United States Troops Is The Single Worst Event In German History by Ms Caitlin Johnstone!
(2020-07-30 at 01:54:23 )

Op-Ed: The Exit Of 12,000 United States Troops Is The Single Worst Event In German History by Ms Caitlin Johnstone!

Todays Caitlin Johnstone essay has been replaced with a National News Conglomerate op-ed by General Hank Hammerfist. NNC: Obey.

The Donald Trump administration has begun slashing the United States military presence in Germany from an almost satisfactory 36,000 troops to a practically microscopic 24,000. I think we can all agree that this is the single worst thing that has ever happened in the history of Germany, and arguably the universe.

While most United States of Americans were until now unaware that their government had that many troops in a nation known predominantly for beer and bleak documentaries, pundits and politicians in the know have been rightly proclaiming their outrage at this catastrophic event which disrupts Gods natural plan of endless military expansionism until the entire planet is an undifferentiated sea of camouflage fatigues and tiny American flag patches.

"Donald Trumps decision to withdraw United States Forces from Germany shows a broad lack of strategic understanding. It sends the wrong signal to our adversaries and leaves our allies vulnerable in the face of increasing global threats. It is simply unacceptable," tweeted former National Security Advisor John Bolton, who as we all know is always correct about military matters.

Donald Trumps decision to withdraw United States Forces from Germany shows a broad lack of strategic understanding. It sends the wrong signal to our adversaries and leaves our allies vulnerable in the face of increasing global threats. It is simply unacceptable-John Bolton July 29, 2020

"Did Donald Trump give Mr. Putin a heads up on the removal of 12,000 United States troops from Germany? Was there an implication it was a kind of down payment for election help, a taste of what could follow in a second term?" asks super smart foreign policy expert Bill Kristol.

"United States to withdraw nearly 12,000 troops from Germany in move that will cost billions and take years," warns a CNN headline that is both helpful and totally sane.

NPRs national security correspondent David Welna informs us that the move is "a slap at a longtime ally frequently reviled by President Trump."

"There is no strategy behind the decision to withdraw United States troops from Germany," says Slate foreign policy pundit Fred Kaplan. "It is about the presidents anger and ego."

"The plan outlined by the Administration today to remove thousands of United States troops from Germany is a grave error," said Senator Mitt Romney in a statement. "It is a slap in the face at a friend and ally when we should instead be drawing closer in our mutual commitment to deter Russian and Chinese aggression. And it is a gift to Russia coming at a time when we just have learned of its support for the Taliban and reports of bounties on killing American troops."

"A special gift to Mr. Putin and a blow to NATO," tweeted former National Security Advisor Susan Rice. "Donald Trump is not playing on Americas team."

It is September 2020. Donald Trump has decided to remove 500 troops from the middle of the Sahara Desert, a military presence nobody knew existed until one hour ago. All pundits and politicians in America are writing op-eds explaining why this is the worst thing that has ever happened.-Caitlin Johnstone July 29, 2020

So as you can see, this troop withdrawal is being met with righteous garment rending by all the best people. What more evidence do you need that we should regard endless military expansionism as the norm and treat even the slightest most peripheral deviation from that path as a freakish apocalyptic travesty?

I weep for the poor Germans, who are doubtless stricken with inconsolable terror at the loss of one third of their benevolent protectors. Who will protect Germany from being occupied by a violent and brutal regime without a robust occupying United States military force?

I for one can not wait until we get this evil, despotic monster out of the White House and replace him with someone who understands what the United States of America is really all about.

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