Elizabeth Will Die Soon And Then We Will Have A "King" And It Will Be Hilarious by Ms Caitlin Johnstone!
(2021-11-15 at 22:45:52 )

Elizabeth Will Die Soon And Then We Will Have A "King" And It Will Be Hilarious by Ms Caitlin Johnstone!

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Britains Queen Elizabeth has had to skip out on yet another public appearance due to failing health, this time reportedly due to a sprained back. If she had been able to make her scheduled appearance for Sundays Remembrance service it would have been her first since resting on medical advice after spending the night in hospital undergoing unspecified tests last month, leading to much speculation about her health.

"Well none of us will live forever," the 95 year-old monarch said in her speech for the COP26 summit earlier this month, shown via video as she was also unable to attend that event.

We are reminded that old Liz will not be around forever not just by the fact that her body is turning into Pringles chips but by the sudden uptick in the use of the phrase "future king" in news media references to Prince Charles, who will inherit the throne upon his mothers overdue demise. It will take a lot of prepping to get members of the British Commonwealth used to the idea that they are about to have a King, after all, because on its surface the very idea of it is so cartoonishly absurd.

And make no mistake, having a king is something that people are going to have to be groomed into accepting. Because if there is anything more ridiculous than having a queen, it is having a king.

At least having a queen is something we came into the modern world with. For most of us it is all we remember having; Elizabeth took the throne in 1952 and was around for the rise of feminism and the mainstreaming of women in politics and the workplace, and the fact that there was a woman heading the British monarchy throughout that time made the obscene existence of royals in the modern age seem a lot less abrasive than it otherwise would have. We have gotten used to having a queen.

Now it is going to be a king, and it is going to be in the 2020s, and it is going to be hilarious.

We are gonna have a king you guys. An actual, literal king. Not in a childrens fairy tale. Not at a Renaissance fair. Not in a JRR Tolkien movie. Not in a Dungeons & Dragons live action role-playing game. In real life.

Not as a joke, either. People are going to take it very seriously. They are going to refer to him as "the King" and call him "Your Majesty," and do it completely unironically. He will take out a sword and "knight" people, like some nerdy cosplayer at a fantasy convention.

He is going to be on peoples money. Not just in the United Kingdom, but in places like here in Australia as well. He will even have the power to oust our elected officials through his governor-general if he sees fit.

Cheers, Prince Charles! The Future King Celebrates His 73rd Birthday -People (people) November 14, 2021

It is about the silliest thing you could possibly come up with, and it is going to be happening at a time when people are already getting fed up with ruling power structures as it is. I mean, think about it.

Everyone is being exploited by billionaires and betrayed by politicians and dominated by opaque and unaccountable government agencies as living conditions get worse and worse for the working class, and you are going to throw some dusty old wanker in front of them wearing a crown and tell them "Okay this is your King now"?

It is not going to go well, and it is going to be very, very funny watching it happen. It was a hard enough ask in the 2020s that there is still a blood-soaked royal family from a long line of murderous white supremacist thieves leeching off of taxpayers for no legitimate reason, but now you are going to replace the old pug lady we have all gotten used to with some asshole and call him our King? Yeah, good luck with that.

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