30 Signs You Might Be An Empire Simp by Ms Caitlin Johnstone!
(2023-08-26 at 16:31:02 )

30 Signs You Might Be An Empire Simp by Ms Caitlin Johnstone!

Listen to a reading of this article (reading by Tim Foley):

30 signs you might be a bootlicking simp for the United States empire.

There are many bootlicking simps for the United States empire. It is not entirely their fault; the empire has the most sophisticated propaganda machine ever devised and most westerners have been marinating in its influence their entire lives. But it does happen, and it is good to bring awareness to it!

Here then are 30 signs you might be an empire simp:

1. You get triggered whenever anyone highlights the well-documented western provocations that paved the way to the war in Ukraine.

2. You think President Putin invaded Ukraine solely because he is evil and hates freedom and the United States is pouring weapons into the nation because it loves Ukrainians and wants to protect their freedom and democracy.

3. You are more interested in Donald Trumps mugshot than the western-backed atrocities in Yemen or starvation sanctions in Syria.

4. You can listen to Tony Blinken talk without wanting to throw trash at his head.

5. You understand that the last time there was a credible foreign military threat near the United States border the United States responded so aggressively that it almost ended the world, yet you demand that Russia and China accept United States military threats on their borders.

6. You think the United States is filling Australia with war machinery because it loves Australians and wants to protect them from China.

7. You believe the worlds most destructive military force is encircling its #1 geopolitical rival with war machinery as a defensive measure.

8. You live in the most propagandized population on earth and make jokes about North Korean propaganda.

9. You live in the most propagandized population on earth and spend your time fretting about Russian propaganda.

10. You think the title of most murderous and tyrannical regime on earth belongs to any government besides Washington,D.C.

11. You live under the most murderous and tyrannical power structure on earth and yet spend your time shrieking about tyranny in Asian countries.

12. You want to see Vladimir Putin tried for war crimes before George W Bush.

13. You believe western interventionism has ever had anything to do with spreading freedom and democracy or protecting humanitarian interests.

14. You find protests in places like Iran, Venezuela or Cuba much more interesting than protests in places like France, Haiti or Chile.

15. You unironically call NATO a "defensive alliance".

16. You rend your garments about China preparing to seize control of Taiwan by military force without ever acknowledging that the United States empire is preparing to do the exact same thing.

17. You have ever believed for even one second that the United States government gives a f-ck about Muslims in China.

18. You oppose guns except when they are being used to kill foreigners overseas.

19. You claim you oppose the misdeeds of all governments equally but find yourself spending most of your time yelling at people who criticize United States foreign policy online.

20. You have ever accused anyone who criticizes United States foreign policy of secretly working for Russia or China.

21. You have ever accused someone who criticizes Israel of being an anti-semite.

22. You think being anti-war means putting a Ukraine flag in your Twitter bio.

23. You think "the troops" have ever fought for your freedom at any time since you have been alive.

24. You think the invasion of Iraq had anything to do with liberating the Iraqi people.

25. You think the destruction of Libya had anything to do with protecting Libyans.

26. You think the west arming Al Qaeda in Syria had anything to do with advancing the interests of Syrians.

27. You think United States escalations against Russia and China have anything to do with "national security".

28. You think the Department of Defense has anything to do with defense.

29. You think it is okay for the United States to keep waging wars, destroying nations, starving civilian populations with economic sanctions, instigating proxy wars, arming neo-Nazis and violent jihadists, staging coups and persecuting journalists, because if it does not do those things the world might be taken over by evil tyrants.

30. You were bothered by any item on this list!!

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Ah, the Buddha Ms Caitlin speaks the truth!!! - Cousin Lucky