Humor From Elija At LinuxForums
(2009-03-15 at 13:36:28 )

For anyone who did not see the episode of the David Letterman show where
this story was told, read this: And please remember it is a true story!

On a recent weekend in Atlantic City , a woman won a bucketful of Quarters
at a slot machine. She took a break from the slots for dinner with her
husband in the Hotel dining room. But first she wanted to stash all of the
Quarters in her room.

I will be right back and we will go to eat she told her husband and then
she carried the coin-laden bucket to the elevator. As she was about to walk
into the elevator she noticed two men already aboard. Both were black.

One of them was very tall and had an intimidating figure. The woman froze.
Her first thought was: These two men are going to rob me. Her next thought
was: Do not be a bigot, they look like perfectly nice gentlemen.

But racial stereotypes are powerful, and fear immobilized her. Avoiding eye
contact, she turned around stiffly and faced the elevator doors as they
closed. A second passed, and then another second, and then another. Her
fear increased!

The elevator did not move. Panic consumed her. My God she thought, I am
trapped and about to be robbed! Her heart plummeted. Perspiration poured
from every pore. Then one of the men said, Hit the floor.

Instinct told her to do what they told her. The bucket of quarters flew
upwards as she threw out her arms and collapsed on the elevator floor.

A shower of coins rained down on her. Take my money and spare me, she
prayed. More seconds passed. She heard one of the men say politely,
Madam, if you will just tell us what floor you are going to, we will push
the button.

The one who said it had a little trouble getting the words out. He was
trying mightily to hold in a belly laugh.

The woman lifted her head and looked up at the two men. They reached down
to help her up. Confused, she struggled to her feet. When I told my friend
here to hit the floor, said the average sized one, I meant that HE should
hit the elevator button for our floor. I did not mean for YOU to hit the
floor, madam. He spoke genially.

He bit his lip. It was obvious he was having a hard time not laughing.
The woman thought: My God, what a spectacle I have made of myself.

She was too humiliated to speak. The three of them gathered up the strewn
quarters and refilled her bucket. When the elevator arrived at her floor
they insisted on walking her to her room.. She seemed a little unsteady on
her feet, and they were afraid she might not make it down the corridor.

At her door they bid her a good evening. As she slipped into her room she
could hear them roaring with laughter as they walked back to the elevator.

The woman brushed herself off. She pulled herself together and went back
downstairs for dinner with her husband.

The next morning flowers were delivered to her room; a dozen roses.
Attached to EACH rose was a crisp one hundred-dollar bill.

The card said: Thanks for the best laugh we have had in years.
It was signed; Eddie Murphy & Michael Jordan
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