Vote For Six-Headed Zombie Hitler To Stop Seven-Headed Zombie Hitler by Ms Caitlin Johnstone!
(2024-07-23 at 22:59:03 )

Vote For Six-Headed Zombie Hitler To Stop Seven-Headed Zombie Hitler by Ms Caitlin Johnstone!

Listen to a reading by Caitlin Johnstone and Tim Foley:

"Look, I am not saying Six-Headed Zombie Hitler is perfect, but come on! He is obviously WAY better than Seven-Headed Zombie Hitler! Sometimes you just have to vote for the lesser evil."

Jack: So have you given any thought to who you are going to vote for in November?

Jill: Yeah, I have been thinking about it a lot actually. I think I am gonna sit this one out, or maybe vote third party.

Jack: What?? Do you not know democracy is on the line this election?? Jill, this is the most important election of our lifetimes!

Jill: Jack they say that every election.

Jack: But this time it is true, Jill! Seven-Headed Zombie Hitler wants to commit genocide and take over the world!

Jill: So does his opponent, Six-Headed Zombie Hitler.

Jack: Look, I am not saying Six-Headed Zombie Hitler is perfect, but come on! He’s obviously WAY better than Seven-Headed Zombie Hitler! Sometimes you just have to vote for the lesser evil.

Jill: It’s not even clear to me that Six-Headed Zombie Hitler is meaningfully less evil than Seven-Headed Zombie Hitler, Jack! I mean, Six-Headed Zombie Hitler is really, really evil! What about all that genocide and imperialism he has been supporting?

Jack: Okay but do you want all that genocide and imperialism to be perpetrated by a Zombie Hitler with even more heads? Just imagine how much worse it could get with that extra Zombie Hitler head added into the mix!

Jill: But Jack, does it not feel kind of silly to even be debating this stuff anymore? At some point do we not have to stop acting like the election results are the problem, when the real problem is clearly a system that is so corrupt and undemocratic that it now forces us to choose between being ruled by undead Nazi hydra monsters with six heads or seven heads?

Jack: Jill, now is not the time. Let us just focus on getting Six-Headed Zombie Hitler into office, and then we can pressure him from the left to enact the policies we want! We can have our little revolution after we have stopped Seven-Headed Zombie Hitler.

Jill: That is what you say now, but next election cycle they will roll out another Zombie Hitler with even more heads and you will be saying the same thing.

Jack: There is a Zombie Hitler with even more than seven heads?? Gosh, Seven-Headed Zombie Hitler does not look so bad anymore!

Jill: See that is exactly what I am talking about! This keeps happening! We keep finding ourselves in situations where we have to keep voting for a "lesser evil" who is more and more evil each election cycle. When I was younger they told us we had to choose the least bad of two corrupt warmongering oligarch puppets who want the United States of America to rule the world, then at some point they started telling us we have to choose between two candidates who both literally support genocide, and now we are seeing presidential races where it is just a bunch of mad scientists creating Zombie Hitler monsters with more and more heads!

Jack: But Jill-

Jill: Where is the line, Jack?? Where is the line of evil you will not cross beyond?

At what point do you stop supporting evil monsters to defeat other slightly more evil-looking monsters?

At what point do you say "Nope, that is too much evil for me, it is the system itself that needs to be defeated"?

Jack: I would definitely never go higher than twelve heads.

Jill: Gah!

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Ah, the Buddha Ms Caitlin speaks the truth!!! - Cousin Lucky